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He then considers the option of changing identity and appearance, and the thought process, according to my interviews, seems to go like this: 1 A young Sardar is attracted to a girl.
2 She seems to reject him (typical for the beginner) 3 He is disheartened. What is the most different thing about that person? The young Sardar, who is most likely a teenager going through puberty, has a rather fluid mindset.
Another challenge faced by young Sikhs is that they do look different, even though not all males wear turbans and have unshaven facial hair.
However, once a young Sikh initially fails with girls, these two factors play a big part in his thought processes.
It seems that even if there are “plenty of fish in the sea”, none want to date you.4 He cannot talk to his father because the father has had no previous experience on the topic. He starts to think, “Maybe the reason I can’t get girls is because I look so different.” He seizes at the perception that he is not attractive.This leads to a loss in self-confidence - which takes a great toll on the mind.The dating process is a process of trial and error, and most people go through several such relationships before they find the “one”.
This process is the opposite of the system traditionally followed on the subcontinent - through arranged marriages.
He believes that he would not be able to chase love because his identity holds him back. Through this paper, young Sikhs will see that objective evidence points to the fact that they ARE considered attractive, and that they should not disband their traditions, influenced by this myth.