Online dating nervousness
Indulging in anxiety in a dating relationship is like indulging in back-seat driving: It only makes everyone else more nervous and annoyed and doesn’t actually contribute anything positive.Yet, the experience is legitimate and real, and so is the fear. To know how Jesus Christ is relevant to our situation in dating, we must first of all come to terms with the often avoided, but very obvious reality, that we are not safe in a relationship.When couples move past the awkward first-date phase of a relationship, many face a new and unsettling tension between strong romantic feelings and the reality that they are not yet married.They ask themselves, “What does a relationship look like with someone who is neither my spouse nor my fiancé?The same God says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs ) and, “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Dating literature, for too long, has offered too many of the wrong guarantees, and too few of the relevant graces.I once heard someone pray, “We pray against a closed sky.” It may be easy for some to feel ignored in the abyss of uncertainty. Many attempts to resolve this tension result in a self-pandering theology.First, we must try to understand the anxiety of the uncertain.Why does exclusive dating so often leave us undone?
The risks are higher, the vulnerability deeper, and the losses greater.
In dating, disappointment exists in the form of breaking up.
In marriage and parenting, the disappointments and pains can be much more devastating, and sometimes even permanent.
The cause of the feeling of uncertainty, to state the obvious and critical, is that . Sinful humans, with all of our benefits, come with risks.
Affection and vulnerability with a lack of covenantal commitment is a tension that can end in a naturally explosive way — either in a breakup or marriage.
The answer is very clear: There are a lot of chips on the table and with blind odds.