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03-Feb-2020 14:01

I was a latecomer to counselling, having previously considered therapy a largely American pursuit. By the time I reached that landmark age, without children and in a marriage that was beginning to lose its fairytale glow, my daily life was beginning to feel not unlike a soap opera. And I did, pretty much, and I was perfectly fine - until suddenly I wasn't.A late arrival into the world of social media, I nevertheless embraced it as a kind of escape.While my husband spent most evenings catching up on the horse racing he'd recorded over the weekend, I began perusing chatrooms – not in pursuit of cybersex necessarily, but initially more for harmless flirtation, a little virtual attention.He was by far the best of the bunch, a kind and generous man, but someone who could also be selfish and unfeeling.We had agreed, early on in our relationship, that we wouldn't have children. Several friends, however, were convinced that our lack of children created a vacuum.

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My husband worked hard at his job and, to alleviate its accompanying pressures, developed his obsession with horseracing, gambling and drinking. These conversations quickly developed into cyber-sex, each message becoming more adventurous and racy and allowing me to live out fantasies I would never contemplate doing in the real world. My husband and I became strangers, our lives by now distinct entities. I told myself that what I was doing was essentially harmless.Soon, I was spending hours in the parallel universe of cyberspace, often through wonderfully wide-awake nights, uninhibited in a way I never could be in reality.



“I sing Bob Dylan in the shower and Robyn in the car” or “I lived in a houseboat for three months…until it sank. I just moved to dry land.)” or even a quote from your favorite TV show (Tom Haverford from Parks and Recreation is a personal favorite: “When life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma’s jewelry and go clubbing”) says something about you and helps spark conversation. Bad dates are good stories (that happen to help you learn something about yourself), and remember: it only takes one good date…… continue reading »


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At the same time, remember that some of the potentials you meet may be shy or may need a few minutes to open up and talk to you.… continue reading »


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James Spader and his fiance Leslie Stefanson are seen for the first time with their 3-month-old baby at the Grove in LA. … continue reading »


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Eventually their engagement news also comes out to be fake and false.… continue reading »


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